


Sacrifice

by whiterabbit



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Not everything is as it appears, Relationship Grey Areas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4833020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiterabbit/pseuds/whiterabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Ressler the only way to help Liz was to kill her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

>   
>  **Sacrifice** (noun) : An act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy  
>  \- Oxford Dictionaries  
> 

* * *

"Aram! Where is she?" Ressler demanded, shouting into his com. The tech on the other end hesitated and Ressler could almost hear the wheels in his head turning. Growling in frustration and standing breathless in the street he repeated his question. "Where is Liz?" 

"She's heading toward the water," Aram finally replied, defeat evident in his voice. 

Not bothering to respond Ressler took off toward the waterfront, dodging cars and people in the process, listening to Aram reluctantly give him directions. Coming to a shipyard Ressler looked both ways until he finally caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye. Chasing after her shadow, he wove in between the stacks of large shipping containers, drawing his gun as they reached the water’s edge. 

Rounding the corner of one of the parked forklifts, Ressler saw her for the first time in a month. Her back to him, she stood looking out over the water, one hand raised and shadowing her eyes as she searched the horizon. 

_Reddington._

She was here to meet Reddington. Knowing that he had very little time Ressler called out to her. She spun around, drawing her gun as she did, pointing it in his direction. Meeting her weapon with his own they became locked in a Mexican standoff. 

"Don't do this! Put it away Liz." Slowly, he moved forward keeping his eyes trained on his former partner. 

"You know I can't, if I do I'm allowing you to take me in and you know what they'll do to me. Please Don, just let me go," she pleaded with him. 

Ressler shook his head, "You know I can't." Not this time. The words were left unspoken but they were still loud and clear. 

The rumble of a boat motor in the distance drew their attention and briefly Liz turned to look out at the water. In the distance Don could just make out two figures standing in the boat as it moved swiftly toward them, splashing across the water's surface. A subtle movement out of the corner of his eye drew his attention back to Liz. She was backing up toward the water’s edge as the speedboat drew closer, Ressler warned her to stop but she didn’t listen. 

Glancing back at the approaching boat before turning her attention back to him she begged him one last time to let her go. “Please, you just have to give me the chance to make this right.” 

“If you come in with me we can do this, together,” he said. Sneaking a glance past her shoulder, watching as Reddington and Dembe moved ever closer. 

A sad look stole over her face and she shook her head. “I can’t let you take me in. I’m sorry Don.” She took aim and fired a shot at him. The bullet slammed through his left shoulder and on instinct he fired back. 

For the second time in his life time slowed. He watched in horror as blood exploded between from her forehead and she fell backward into the water. The splash of the water echoing in the air was the only thing he heard through the deafening silence that had enveloped him. 

Blindly, he stumbled forward. Ignoring the jarring pain in his arm he dropped to his knees at the end of the dock and searched the water for her body but he couldn't see anything through the murky blood stained surface. 

He could hear Aram's voice shouting in his ear but nothing the other man said made any sense to him, it wasn't until a shower of bullets began hitting the water and the dock next to him that he came back to his senses. Realizing that Reddington was shooting at him, Ressler fired back a couple of shots as he made his way to cover, a wail of sirens letting him know that backup was on the way. 

Leaning back against a blue shipping container and clutching his arm he waited. One thought playing through his mind on repeat. _What have I just done?_

* * *

Sitting in his darkened office, staring blankly off into space, Ressler replayed the events of the afternoon in his mind for what felt like the millionth time. Over and over again he went over every detail, everything he said, everything he did, everything she said and did. Mostly though he saw her falling backward into the water. He saw the look in her eyes. 

Lost in the memory he jumped when he heard a knock on the door. Blinking rapidly he looked up and noticed the Deputy Attorney General in the doorway. 

"Ma'am," he offered as a greeting. 

"Assistant Director Ressler, you seemed like you were deep in thought," she replied, blatantly taking in his arm that was in a sling. Not waiting for a reply she got straight to the point. "It's late and you asked to see me?" 

"I did, ma'am." Picking up the thin white envelope that was sitting on the desk he handed it to her but before she could get the chance to open it and read the contents, Ressler told her what was inside. "It's my letter of resignation." 

Surprised, she glanced down at the envelope before looking back at him. "I'm sorry Agent Ressler, but I don't understand. You just took down one of the FBI's most wanted, you should be settling into your position, not handing in your notice," she said. 

"Respectfully, I didn't 'take down' a suspect. I killed my former partner. I killed my friend," Ressler emphasized. Sighing he placed his badge and his gun on the desk and said, "I knew that this would end one of two ways. Either I would bring Liz- Elizabeth Keen in alive or dead, and I also knew that if she died and if I was the one that killed her, that I would be done with the FBI." 

"Assistant Director Ressler, you did what you had to do," the Deputy Attorney General tried to reason but Ressler, shaking his head, didn't let her finish. 

"No, that's where you're wrong," he argued. "I should've done my job right, I should've brought her in alive. But I couldn't. I couldn't do my job and now she's dead. And everyone out there," he said, pointing out the window, "they know it too and some of them hate me for it." 

He thought of Aram's face, the hatred combined with an actual touch of fear. Samar too had looked at him with a hatred in her eyes that told him everything he needed to know, his life was forfeit as soon as she left the FBI. And they weren't alone. During her time at the Post Office Liz had made a lot of friends and now all of them looked at him the same way Aram and Samar did. 

The Deputy Attorney General's mouth tightened into a thin line. "Love you, hate you, they still have a job to do." 

"Bureaucrats," he muttered under his breath. 

"What?" Came the sharp reply. 

Ignoring her reply he said, "We respected Harold Cooper when he was assistant director, we still respect him and admire him. It made the job a hell of a lot easier. I can't do this job without that, it's not the way I wanted to do this job." 

"And if I don't accept your resignation?" 

"Then I'll remind you that by murdering Elizabeth Keen I've put a target on my back," Ressler countered. "Raymond Reddington will be gunning for me and he won't stop until I'm dead, and that also goes for anyone who stands in his way." 

"You've made you're point Agent Ressler," she said after a moment of silence. "I'll accept your resignation, but I have one question. Without the FBI, how are you going to protect yourself from Reddington?" 

"Hide. And hope that you do your job and get to him before he gets to me," Ressler replied making his way to the door. 

"And if he does? Get to you, that is, what then?" 

"I don't know."

* * *

Pulling up to the cabin Ressler shut off the car engine and did a quick scan of the darkened area before getting out. Baseball cap pulled down over his eyes he retrieved his duffle bag from the backseat using his good arm and made his way around to the back, leaves crunching under his feet with each step. While the front of the cabin was dark, light spilled out in back from the kitchen window and a dog inside began barking as soon as he stepped onto the porch. 

The door opened before he could reach it and looking up Ressler saw Harold Cooper standing in the doorway. The men nodded briefly before Cooper reached out and took the duffle bag from the younger man and stepped out of the way allowing him entrance into the small, warm kitchen. 

His breath caught when he saw her. 

Green eyes met blue and the rest of the world dissolved away. 

Sitting at the little table in the corner and wearing his old bathrobe she stood when she saw him but made no move to come any closer. Her hair, that was blonde earlier in the day, was back to brunette but with a hint of red and cut shorter into a layered, wavy bob. She was pale but looked no worse for the wear with the exception of the worry in her eyes, especially when she glanced at his injured shoulder. 

"Well, do they believe Elizabeth Keen is dead?" Cooper asked, drawing them both back to the present. 

Ressler nodded as he bent down to pet Hudson, who was whining for his attention. He had taken the dog in after Liz went on the run and the two had become practically inseparable. He replied as the dog was busy sniffing his sling. "The body cam footage showed everything and it all looked realistic enough. If I didn't know any better I would have thought that I actually did it. I have no doubt that Reddington will get his hands on it soon rather than later, whether or not he believes it is another story." 

"What happens when they don't find my body?" Liz asked, her eyes trained on Ressler. She didn't miss the way his voice shook when he told them about seeing the footage. 

"They'll find a body," Cooper interrupted, surprising Liz and Ressler with his answer. Seeing their questioning gazes he explained vaguely, "I've made arrangements." 

"With people we can trust," Ressler asked skeptically. 

"Yes," he declared without hesitation. 

Liz nodded and breathed visible a sigh of relief, if there was a body no one would question her death, not the FBI, not Tom, and hopefully not Reddington. But even if they did eventually figure it out, this would at least buy them the time they needed. 

"I should go," Cooper announced moving to get his coat from where he'd draped it across the back of one of the chairs. "Do you two have everything you need?" 

Both of them nodded, they'd planned this for months and thought of every precaution. 

They were ready. 

"If you do think of anything, you know how to reach me," he said. 

"Harold," Liz called out as he reached the door. "Thank you." 

The former assistant director inclined his head briefly at her in acknowledgement. Looking at both of them he said, "good luck." And with those words he exited quickly, disappearing into the darkness leaving the two former FBI agents alone. 

The only sound in the room came from Hudson panting and the refrigerator humming quietly. Outside crickets were chirping and the late fall wind howled through the cracks.

Pushing away from the counter Ressler made his way to Liz's side. Gazing down at her he brushed her bangs away from her forehead and ran his thumb lightly over the red spot where the blood pack blew up. The pack itself had been small, but a thin tube that Liz had carefully arranged under the part in her hair, supplied the blood. It met with a similar pack at the back of her head that exploded at the same time, to create the right effect. 

Liz had worked for months on the right make-up to hide the blood pack and spent three hours that morning carefully applying a thin skin colored sheath and her make-up in addition to carefully arranging her bangs. Once that was done, unless you were looking for it, you couldn't tell that it was there. 

The bullet that was supposed to have passed through her head had been fired into the water by Ressler the night before. Now when they dragged the water, if they found the bullet they would know it had come from his gun, but even if they didn't he had fired his gun that day and the appropriate number of bullets were missing. 

Everything had been planned to perfection, but that didn't stop either of them from worrying, wondering if they had done or said something wrong. 

"Does it hurt," Don asked softly, still stroking the mark. He'd noticed that her eyes had closed, soothed by the motion. 

She shook her head and said, "No, I think it'll be gone by tomorrow morning. But it was a bitch to clean off," she joked, the level of her voice matching his own. "I think I used the entire bottle of shampoo just to get the smell of the harbor water out of my hair." 

"Don't worry, we'll get you another bottle," he replied lightly, his lips curling upward at the corners. Liz opened her eyes and gave him a small sardonic smile. However that quickly vanished and a grim, remorseful look stole over her face when she caught sight of his injured shoulder. 

Don's hand stilled when Liz lightly brushed her fingertips over the spot where she'd shot him. He was surprised when he saw tears begin to fall from her eyes, wrapping his good arm around her shoulder he held her close. 

"Hey, I'm alright," he murmured into her ear, but even as he said the words she continued to weep. "We planned this, remember. I had to have just cause for killing you. I knew it was coming." 

"I'm not just crying because I shot you," she choked out. "I'm crying because of everything you've done, everything you've given up to help me. I shouldn't have asked you..." 

"You didn't," Don replied. "I offered remember." 

She nodded. It was true, he'd offered to help her when he'd caught her in Prague. He had seen how worn out she was from running, from searching for the truth. There had been dark circles under her eyes and she'd lost a good ten pounds, if not more. At that moment, all those months ago, standing in the dingy little room that Red had told her to wait in while he'd arranged transportation, Ressler knew that if he'd made any effort at all to arrest her she wouldn't have resisted. It was that defeat that made him change his mind, to risk everything to help her. 

That afternoon they'd talked for as long as they could. She told him everything, including Reddington's attempts to block her every move toward finding her mother. She knew that her mother would prove to be the key to everything and she also suspected, that based on a remark Reddington made, that her mother was still alive. Liz had made a few attempts to find her but with Red standing in her way, insisting that there were other options, she wasn't succeeding. 

That was when they'd come up with their plan to fake her death. It was the only way to grant her the peace she needed to find her mother and end this. But, in the process it also meant that Don would lose his career, his friends, and possibly his life if Reddington ever found him. 

Pulling away from him, Liz searched his eyes and she asked him one simple question. "Why?" 

He shrugged and tried not to flinch from the flash of pain the action caused. "Because, you're my partner and you needed my help." 

"And because I didn't have anywhere else to go," she added, echoing the words she said to him when she came knocking on his door not so long ago. 

Dropping the subject Liz urged him to take a seat at the table, telling him that she would get him something to eat, but Don shook his head and told her that he'd picked something up on his drive to the cabin. "I'm just tired and we've got to get an early start tomorrow." 

Nodding her head she asked him, "are you going to need some help?" 

Don stopped and thought about the nurse at the hospital, she had to help him into his shirt after they'd stitched up his arm and told him to move it as little as possible. "Yeah, I think I might." 

Following him into the only bedroom in the small cabin, carrying his duffle bag for him, they paused by the bed as Ressler rifled through the items he'd packed searching for a pair of sleeping pants. He managed to unbutton his shirt by himself but before he could start to pull it off he sensed Liz coming up behind him, carefully maneuvering the fabric first from his right arm then down his injured left shoulder. He stilled when he felt her lips press gently against the bandage covering his stitches, then as if shocked by her own actions she threw the shirt onto the bed and made to exit the room before he called out to her. 

"Liz wait," he said. "Stay, please." 

She nodded but didn't look at him, instead moving to the other side of the bed. Lying down and facing away from him she listened intently to every move he made until she felt the other side of the bed sink with his weight. Reaching up she pulled the chain on the bedside light plunging the room into darkness. Turning to face him she curled up into the fetal position, lifting her head slightly when the door squeaked open. Hudson trotted into the room and jumped up onto the bed, curling up behind Liz's legs. Stretching her arm down she scratched him behind the ear and savored his warmth through the blanket. 

"My gran will take good care of him," Don murmured. 

Their first stop was Florida where they'd drop Hudson off with Ressler's grandmother, after that it was off to Russia to try and track down any information they could about Liz's mother. 

"I know, but I missed him when I was on the run before," Liz admitted. "I just hope he doesn't forget about me." 

"He won't," Don reassured her. 

Lifting her gaze she saw him watching her in the dark. She was looking forward to meeting the woman that raised him. 

"Thank you," she said. "For everything." 

Reaching out he grasped her hand in his. Entwined their hands rested between them on the bed, linking them together in the darkness, reminding her that they were in this together.

**Author's Note:**

> I might, might turn this into a series of one-shots about Liz and Ressler on the run. Oh, and this is my first Blacklist/Keenler fic.


End file.
